Flaws in Marriage

Marriages are a great blessing and joy to those who have made the commitment to love and care for another for the rest of there lives. I think how in marriages there is the "honey moon" phase in the start of the marriage. but after this beautiful phase it seems for many the reality of a marriage really sets in and spouses learn that there are differences between them that seem like unchanging. These differences most likely will never fully go away but they can be helped.

A qoute i like from Gottman is:

"The best approach to coping with gridlock is to avoid it in the first place." Gottman

Like Gottman much of these "gridlocked" problems are helped in focusing on things away from the actual problem or difference. In marriage there should be more focus on peoples good qualites rather than there bad. if greatly focused on someones bad qualitys your not focused on them as a spouse but as less. the way to help with bad qualites is to recognize there personal efforts and understand they have a focus in trying to change and when that is done then you will be helping with there bad qualities because someone should be motivated by love. I have seen when people are criticized they seem to want to avoid those relationships unless there desperate for love and company. i have seen my brother and sister in law not have a good marriage because they would constantly argue and criticize and then they wouldnt forgive and eventually my sister in law thought the marriage was not worth it and decided to leave because she thought of herself and not sacrificing in her marriage.  

A religious qoute i wanted to share sums up how people shouldnt give up on there marriage because it is a part of the whole plan as humans on this earth;  

"on average, it takes two years for couples to realize that their marital differences will stubbornly remain a part of their relationship. After that "honeymoon" with one spouse, we can divorce, marry someone new, and enjoy a new honeymoon-for a short time. Inevitably we will find a new set of problems with the new partner. Rather than hitchhiking down the marital road, God invites us to stop, make a commitment, and cultivate our aptitude for appreciation."  Goddard